Fearing IslamoFrancoStreisandianFascism

Dear "Ask A Liberal,"

how do you respond to Newt Gingrich's obviously correct assertion that Democrats "admire" terrorists?

Signed

Fearing IslamoFrancoStreisandianFascism

Dear Fearing IslamoFrancoStreisandianFascism.

Interesting point. For a fork-tongued, slack-jawed, loser who quite obviously is not the "master of his domain" whenever Newt Gingrich is within slurp-shot, you display the essential characteristics or a regular contributor to The Corner. Get on over there! They can use more loafer-wearing white boys.

Now to answer your question. Much like that fellow right-wing, war-loving, atavism-augmentation machine, John McCain, who throws out high-school level taunts of "accepting defeat" and "waving the white flag" (or a pair of Depends, whichever you happen to have on your person) whenever he is not napping, Gingrich has a small problem. And no, I am not referring to that "small" locker-room problem.

I'm talking about the need to project his self-loathing, mental-flatulence onto others. For just a cursory glance at all that Newt Gingrich admires, in no particular order, will explain everything you need to know about the man who-would-never-be-president-in-a-sytem-where-those-with-three-digit-IQs-are-allowed-to-vote. So here you go, the many admirations of Newt Gingrich:

Denny's all-you-can-eat buffets, Timothy McVeigh, serial-divorce, caramel, breaking federal campaign-finance laws, Augusto Pinochet, buttered popcorn, failing as House Speaker to enact virtually anything in the "Contract For America," leaving his first wife while she was in the hospital with cancer, a $3.50 haircut including tip, and generally being an all-around bloviating, self-indulgent jackass.

Of course, there is much, much more, but we only have so much time Fearing IslamoFrancoStreisandianFascism. So thank you for your compelling question, and please don't drink any Draino before the next time we speak. It would be a terrible loss to the nation.
Sincerely,
Ask A Liberal, AKA Cliff Schecter
Cliff Schecter is the author of The Real McCain, a book which will make you slimmer, smarter and for only $10! can stop a McCain presidency (or $20, if you happen to have a Republican friend who can read)