Hey Lib,

What do you make of the fact
that John McCain chose ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” as his favorite
song?     

Sincerely,

Super Trouper in Norwich, CT 

 

Dear Trouper,

It would be a cause for serious
concern, if John McCain were running for the job of wedding DJ instead
of president. Which is not to say that McCain’s musical tastes aren’t
cause for at least some concern. He is, after all, courting the electorate,
and one of the rituals of modern courtship is to bestow a mixed tape
or CD upon the beloved as a sign of serious intent. Here then is the
list of John McCain’s complete top 10 favorite songs of all time,
as revealed to Blender magazine. 

1. Dancing Queen, ABBA

2. Blue Bayou, Roy Orbison

3. Take a Chance On Me, ABBA

4. If We Make It Through December,
Merle Haggard

5. As Time Goes By, Dooley
Wilson

6. Good Vibrations, The Beach
Boys

7. What A Wonderful World,
Louis Armstrong

8. I've Got You Under My Skin,
Frank Sinatra

9. Sweet Caroline, Neil Diamond

10. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes,
The Platters 

A person receiving such a mix
from a suitor would first note that, as a mix tape, it fails miserably.
The selections are generally so popular that the list reveals nothing
real about the person compiling it—in this case, probably a campaign
aide whose purpose was to reveal nothing real about John McCain. But
even as a PR vehicle, it raises red flags, chief of which is the double-dose
of ABBA. One ABBA song in your top 10 says “I like kitsch.” Two
ABBA songs in your top 3 says “I like mimosas and men.” At that
point, John McCain is one Edith Piaf song from coming out of the closet.  

For a guy who is determined
to deny gays the right to marry, it sure seems like John McCain is willing
to fight for their right to party. Not that he would get that reference—it’s
only some 22 years old, and the other salient point of this list is
that all of the songs on it are at least three decades old. The sad
thing is that it probably reflects an attempt to make McCain’s musical
tastes seem more youthful by leaving off his actual favorites: Eddie
Cantor, Rudy Vallee and Al Jolson.   

The most depressing thing about
the choice of “Dancing Queen” as McCain’s number 1 isn’t that
it’s dreck, but that it’s relentlessly upbeat, cheerful dreck. Don’t
get me wrong—I don’t want the person with their hand on the nuclear
button to be darkly brooding with Nick Cave on continuous play, but
I do want a leader whose innermost thoughts go beyond “You can dance,
you can jive, having the time of your life.” Come to think of it,
the person listening to continuous ABBA is a lot more likely to snap
than the Nick Cave aficionado is. But then we all know that John McCain
can endure torture.  

Yours,

Frederick Douglas Trotsky-Goldman