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I am prescient.  Pythonic.  I read the entrails of the beast.  I augur the future.  I see where commentary is going and, more importantly, sound the claxon and alert all who care of what to watch for, what to notice, and how to interpret it.  Through my unique prism, I provide the lens through which the world should be viewed.

I was the first to notice the absolutely hysterical Fox “News” Channel before it was cool, and, frankly, before anyone caught on.  Why? 

(Click and scroll for video) Because news programming enjoys a presumption of legitimacy.  In fact, I coined the now-oft-used doctrine of “Television News Presumption of Legitimacy.”  (See LIONEL on “Media Analysis” §112.)  Who first alerted the world to O’Reilly the bombast?  Who first signaled that morning show conservative marionette Steve Doocy was one neuron or two short of a synapse?  And who also warned against confusing that simpleton with singer/songwriter Steve Ducey?  That’s right, yours truly.

Then it became obvious, everyone piled on the no Shiite bandwagon and my initial observation became accepted and part of the collective groupthink.  Fine, no problem.

Then an alternative was aborning.  Fox counterprogramming MSNBC started to show signs of growing pains, and I was there.  I alerted you to the absolutely and criminally vague Dan Abrams, whose show, to this very day, is without description.  Think using cigarette smoke trails as a Rorschach test.  I was there and predicted Michael Weiner Savage’s imminent flameout.  Tada!  I watched in wonder at its interstitial afternoon programming.  Remember “Bowling for Sport Shirts”?  Me neither.

In 2003, MSNBC hit pay dirt with “Scarborough Country.”  You mark my words; this will be a cult favorite within that minimum amount of time it takes to achieve cult status.  “Scarborough Country” and its host the Joe Scarborough redefined the imagine of hyper-moralist conservative.  But did you listen?  Did MSNBC listen?  Nooooooo!  In fact, they reconfigured Joe, the Stanley Fafara of telejournalism, as “Morning Joe.”  I told you that neo-Joe is a no-go.  His talent is being diluted by his distaff sidekick.  And we’ll just leave it at that.  Joe is nothing short of genius.  The old Joe would play the wide-eyed innocent, far from the rube, though.  Think the older Andy Taylor, more seasoned, yet still the country gentleman.  (Better yet, think Floyd the Barber, pre-stroke.)  No one took me seriously.  They thought I was being “mean.”  Mean?!  They’d a diamond in the rough and didn’t even now it.  Remember how brilliantly Joe played the bumpkin in 2005 when he chided California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger for suggesting that the moon should be destroyed so as to control menses and “allegedly” didn’t know that it was a bit played on Howard Stern’s radio show and not real?  Genius!  But no, no one seemed to note that that’s Joe’s bit, his angle.  In wrestling speak, it was a work. 

Who first noticed that Joe deliberately softens long vowels?  That’s right, me!  Who first noticed that it was a tad draconian to put child molesters in “gel”?  Or who asked what was a Wall Street “bell out”?  Me, baby.  Me.

Keith Olbermann arrived on the scene and gave it back to O’Reilly.  The sesquipedalian against the Boeotian.  The chiral O’Reilly.  The antipodal Bill.  They were mirror images.  Chris Matthews, whose hyper-salivating reportedly is sending drool cup futures through the roof, like O’Reilly plays on the ham-fisted Irish barstool diplomat, waxing incoherent about low-end roots.  I was the one who pointed that out.  I was the first to alert the media to the media. 

And do I get any thanks?  Recognition?  Does anyone throw me a bone and say, “You were right, Lionel.”  Nope.  A vague reference, at least in recognizing my initial observations?  Well, maybe.  Kinda.

I give you "Exhibit A":