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Hey Lib:

Will you admit that Sarah Palin gave a convincing performance in the VP debates?

Sincerely,

Palinista in Lander, WY

Dear Palinista,

Let me start off by announcing that I may not answer your question the way you would like me to. With that, I will say in no uncertain terms that the atomic weight of carbon is 12.011. Obviously that’s the answer to a different question. See how annoying that is? I’m actually a leg up on Sarah Palin because the answer I gave is at least factual, and not a series of nice-sounding but inconsistent talking points.

Sarah Palin not only failed to convince me that she could be Vice President—she failed to convince me that she can even pretend to be Vice President very well. Her performance reminds me of Marlon Brando in “Guys and Dolls.” At least Brando was a gifted actor who nailed the character of gambler Sky Masterson. Then he took it a step too far by believing he could pull off the singing part by acting like someone who could sing. His painful warbling through “Luck Be A Lady” removed any doubt that there’s a huge difference between being a singer and playing a singer. There are some definite skills involved with being able to carry a tune, and Brando was unable to summon them by channeling the backstory of someone who could hit a note. The present Administration notwithstanding, there are also a number of definite skills involved in governing, and being able to sound vaguely like someone with those skills is not enough.

All Sarah Palin had to do was fake it… without looking like she was faking it. And then she virtually admitted she would be faking it by announcing that she wouldn’t even try to appear to answer the questions. Say what you will about Marlon Brando in “Guys and Dolls,” at least he didn’t announce he would be singing tunes from “Li’l Abner” if he found them easier to handle.

Yours,
Frederick Douglas Trotsky-Goldman