These bizarre tales are too good not to include. Enjoy.

This is like saying that the Germans can only go to the bathroom in a toilet, as opposed to on each other. It’s just not fair, culturally.

I don’t know about you, but I expect more from my steroid-addled, muscle-bound, pseudo-autistic Man-Child celebrities.

I don’t buy this explanation for a second. I think this guy was trying to destroy his IKEA-obsessed, spiritually bereft previous identity. Next we’ll be hearing about how he makes soap for a living.

What they don’t mention is that his mother was wearing a green suit with question marks all over it at the time.