Mr. Medved's Science
Mr.
Medved's Science
Dear Doc,
I'm surprised you aren't familiar with the work Michael Medved's been doing in eugenics. Why just this week, he published a paper on America's genetic greatness in the prestigious Townhall on-line journal.
According to Medved, America is great because we carry the genes of ancestors who had the courage to risk everything in order to better their lives. That's why they came here.
He also points out that black people don't have these genes because their ancestors were slaves. According to Mr. Medved, that's why we have racial tensions; their genes can't compete.
Although he doesn't mention it, I suspect he may have developed his theory after studying his own family roots. The Medved line originates out of the Ukraine. "Medved" is a descriptive name that derives from a Ukrainian-Yiddish word that means, roughly, "that asswipe who rants from the closet." From what I gather, generation upon generation of Medved men lived up to that description. Indeed, they could do nothing else. It was their biological destiny.
It wasn't easy to be a village's medved. People quickly lose patience with "asswipes" who lob self-righteous rants at them from hidden positions. So for centuries, the Medved family was driven from shtetl to shtetl until finally, in 1907, the people of Melvin Medved's village drugged him and dumped him onto a boat bound for America.
And that brings me back to where I started. The best evidence for Michael Medved's theory is Mr. Medved, himself. The medved gene is strong in him. No doubt, thousands of Americans who have no inkling of his surname's etymology have found themselves muttering about "that asswipe who rants from the closet."
--
The General publishes the blog, Jesus General, and operates the Cafe Wellstone in Second Life. He can be reached at gen.jc.christian@gmail.com and JC Christian on Skype.
Dear General Christian,
Have conservatives completely abandoned science? Why aren't there any great conservative evolutionary theorists or climate scientists.
Doc in Draper
Dear Doc,
I'm surprised you aren't familiar with the work Michael Medved's been doing in eugenics. Why just this week, he published a paper on America's genetic greatness in the prestigious Townhall on-line journal.
According to Medved, America is great because we carry the genes of ancestors who had the courage to risk everything in order to better their lives. That's why they came here.
He also points out that black people don't have these genes because their ancestors were slaves. According to Mr. Medved, that's why we have racial tensions; their genes can't compete.
Although he doesn't mention it, I suspect he may have developed his theory after studying his own family roots. The Medved line originates out of the Ukraine. "Medved" is a descriptive name that derives from a Ukrainian-Yiddish word that means, roughly, "that asswipe who rants from the closet." From what I gather, generation upon generation of Medved men lived up to that description. Indeed, they could do nothing else. It was their biological destiny.
It wasn't easy to be a village's medved. People quickly lose patience with "asswipes" who lob self-righteous rants at them from hidden positions. So for centuries, the Medved family was driven from shtetl to shtetl until finally, in 1907, the people of Melvin Medved's village drugged him and dumped him onto a boat bound for America.
And that brings me back to where I started. The best evidence for Michael Medved's theory is Mr. Medved, himself. The medved gene is strong in him. No doubt, thousands of Americans who have no inkling of his surname's etymology have found themselves muttering about "that asswipe who rants from the closet."
--
The General publishes the blog, Jesus General, and operates the Cafe Wellstone in Second Life. He can be reached at gen.jc.christian@gmail.com and JC Christian on Skype.
- FILED UNDER: Ask a Liberal, Right Wing Radio, Right Wingers
- May 16, 2008
Actually, Medved means "Bear" in Russian.
Why didn't he stick with movie reviews?
His profile of Hershel Lewis, the blood'n'guts master of the 60's exploitation cinema, was one of the funniest things I've ever read.
- parent
By alienuslxMay 16, 2008 - 11:45am