There’s something going on over at MSNBC. You know that show “Morning Joe”? You may have heard Lionel allude to it briefly in the past. Well, the gang here at The Lionel Show is now about 85% sure that the gang over at “Morning Joe” listens to us. A lot. And they don’t just listen; they steal. They pilfer. By God, they even filch, emerging in the grey pre-dawn weighed down by purloined property. Intellectual property, that is.   

You see, our catchphrases (patents pending) keep popping up on the lips of Mika, Mike B., and even Joe himself. We will play all of the latest incidents for you on the show today, and allow you to be the judge. If, as Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue told us, imitation (and/or outright theft) is the sincerest form of flattery, we can only say “thanks, and right back at ya” to the folks over at our favorite morning television program. Well, I don’t have a television, but if I did…man, would I watch the heck out of that show.

FROM THE ENDLESS CAMPAIGN

We should all know by now that politicians on both sides of the proverbial aisle are duplicitous and scheming to some degree. No vote is cast, no diplomatic mission undertaken, and no policy position changed without an eye towards the favorable effect this might have on a politician’s ability to secure or maintain power. Search any politician’s pockets, on the right or the left, and you’re bound to find a little caca de torro. And nobody spreads it around like John McCain.

In his speech to the NAACP and elsewhere, John McCain praised the high-mindedness of Senator Barack Obama’s upcoming mission of foreign diplomacy. Now, as Barack packs the last of the 300 mini-toothpaste tubes, McCain has suddenly decided to call it an exercise in pandering, saying it amounts to (get this) “foreign political rallies”. Huh? We all know that these people can’t vote for him, what with their lack of U.S. citizenship, so…can’t we assume that Barack is doing this for purposes of education and familiarizing himself with the international political landscape? Nah. When the other guy does something that you don’t want to, just call it “pandering” and hope the accusation takes. Now that’s politics!

Then again, Barack has done some similarly cynical 180s, such as his reversal on McCain’s invitation to Town Hall-style debates. But hey, you can’t accuse me of ever saying Barack Obama is perfect – he’s just better, that’s all. Nothing to light yourself on fire about, perhaps, but certainly someone to vote for.

HEY! Did you know you can email us at thelionelshow@gmail.com? Me and Doobie check the account regularly and delete everything without even a cursory glance, but still – it’s a fun way to try to interact with the show!

Just kidding – we read all the email, and if yours is particularly good, we’ll read it on the air! Won’t that bring a halting smile to your sad, empty face? Might that not prop up your failing spirit, which has all but collapsed under the weight of a lifetime of grief and deprivation?…All those mistakes…so much regret…the chances you never took, the missteps you can never correct…it will all follow you to grave…how can God be good and yet revel in creating such abject sadness, in dooming some among us to lives of bitter isolation…?

Put it all in an email, ya big whiner! thelionelshow@gmail.com!!!